Here’s the scenario: you are sitting at your favorite coffee place, enjoying a nice little brew and relaxing. Your phone rings and it’s your best friend calling you up. Awesome! You pick up the phone and start to chat when your best friend asks you to give a toast at their wedding. Of course it’s your best friend: so you say yes because you can’t decline. However, after you get off the phone, you start to feel a little nervous. This is a huge deal. This is your best friend’s wedding and you want to make sure you give the best speech that you can.
It is a commonly held belief that most people’s greatest fear is public speaking. It is for many a bigger fear than many other well known phobias and fears. When it comes to public speaking, once you say something you cannot take it back. You are put on the spot and need to deliver. The fact that it is your friend’s wedding makes it even more stressful. Even for seasoned speakers, when it comes to a wedding the stakes are even higher.
Your first instinct may be to get on the internet and download some “Free Wedding speeches” and modify them or just use them outright. Or you may find outlines of speeches that you just need to fill in. But these speeches tend to be rather, impersonal and very general, and if you’re the best man or maid of honor, you may probably just end up boring your friends and family.
The good news is that when it comes to writing a wedding speech, the simpler the speech the better the speech. You were specifically chosen for a speech because the bride and groom felt you had some great memories to share and want you to share them on their special day.
What you are asked to do on a wedding toast is to tell the people something about your friends, the ones Getting Married, how they were meant for each other and how you wish them happiness for the rest of their lives. You don’t need a factory made, winding speech, all you need is memories, and your genuine care for your loved ones.
To help you develop your own speech that everyone will love, here are a few guidelines for you.
- Don’t Go For Advice. Go For Stories And Memories
Many speeches give advice. Unless it’s coming at the end of a story and is a “moral of the story” type speech, these tend to be droning and not fun. Remember people love memories. People love stories. People love to go to the movies. So give them a story. Or give them a favorite memory in story form. You will have many funny touching memories you can fall back on. At the end of your speech, a well wish, a congratulations, or a tongue-in-cheek bit of advice to end things after an amusing story will make for a great speech.
- Go for short but effective, rather than long and winding
Many of us know that a long speech is very boring; you don’t want to dull the night with your talks of your childhood, and your games, with your friend. A biography is for a book, one or two memories are for a wedding. Putting it this way, have you ever been to a wedding where you heard a speech and then people laughed and you thought that was the end of it, and then the speech went on? There is a natural “ending” for speeches. Do not feel like you need to get everything in even if you have no shortage of great stories and memories you want to share. Roughly one and a half minutes to three minutes is a great timeframe to capture the attention span of your audience.
- Consider Writing Your Speech As A Poem
Poems can sometimes be hokey. I personally don’t like them. But my personal opinion aside, poems can be pretty wonderful. Many people like them. And for a day like a wedding which is sentimental and sappy, poems can really be a nice touch.
- Don’t forget to introduce yourself
When you introduce yourself, it helps build a quick relationship with your audience. It also gives a point of view from where your stories and memories come from. Even though it is a very easy thing to do, it is often forgotten as well. Remember to introduce yourself.
- A “Light Hearted” Roast Is Okay If You Follow It Up Correctly
A little ribbing at the wedding couple is okay as long as you remember to finish up with a great tribute and great support for the wedding couple. Here is a great example at a wedding I was at. The bride’s father was handing out the mic asking for people to say something. Of course public speaking is a fear for many people so I volunteered to say something on the spot. Here is what I said:
“Hi everyone. My name is Kennly. I’m a pretty good friend of Judy’s and from that have gotten to know Jeremy a little bit since they’ve started dating. And if you know both of them, you know Judy is a fun and energetic person. You just have to see her smile and it lights up your mood. Jeremy, however, well.. let’s just say the first time I met him I didn’t think he liked me because he frowned the whole time like this (insert my best caricature impression of Jeremy) (laughter from audience and Jeremy too!). The second time I met him, I didn’t think he liked anyone. The third time I met him, I was convinced he had not teeth which explained why he never smiled”
(More laughter)
“That being said, you know these two are meant to be because I have never seen Jeremy smile and look at him now! (Jeremy is chuckling and loving it) Seriously today he could light up an entire city. So you know that Judy must be some sort of special to him. And Judy, as bright as I’ve ever seen her smile, this is the brightest. And seeing them together it’s easy to see why. You both look so good together and I wish you may more years of happiness and bright bright smiles together.”
You will notice all the different elements I spoke about above (excluding the poem – don’t think I can do that on the fly) were present in my very short little shpiel. I introduced myself. My speech was very short. I’m sharing a little memory/story/insight. I poke a small bit of fun. Then I elevate and edify the wedding couple. I think I did pretty well!
I hope these tips are helpful. I also hope my last example is helpful as well. Use these guidelines to write a speech in your own voice and you can’t lose!
Stop by Kennly Yakamoto’s Wedding Reception Planning site if you are Planning A Wedding! Great tips abound, no worries: Wedding Planning help is here!
